and now the kids know…
Last night we decided that it was time to inform the kids. We had gone back and forth on this, research multiple avenues and were hoping we wouldn’t have to do this. Yesterday morning my eldest Stephen came down stairs and hugged me. He said he had a bad dream where the Dr’s had to take more stuff out of my leg and that I had died. That hurts!!!!It became very clear that he was aware that something was going on and we had to explain it to him and his brother ( Theo is too young to grasp this yet).It went a little better than expected, but it did absolutely cement the reality which is our future. I was most worried about my eldest Stephen. Over the last few years he has asked a lot of questions about how my parents died and how old I was. As we explained what was going on and trying to be positive I could see the fear in his eyes building. I made it very clear that this is a different disease than what caused the death of my parents. I also asked him if I looked sick or acted sick, to which he said no. So I reiterated that we are doing everything we need to do to stay healthy and spend as much time as possible with them.
It is a very soberring experience to have a talk like this with your kids. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m supposed to be seriously ill and not feel like it. What makes me sick was having this talk with my sons and the fear that everything might not be all right. I have full faith that I’m in this for the long haul, but I still have very clear memories of being 7 years old and not having a father anymore. I need a Scotch!!
It IS different than what killed our parents! Don’t forget that. You have much more going for you!
Mike, You are a brave and dedicated man. This is clear by the career you have chosen , the concern you show for your family and all the work you do with Patches and helping your teammates. Your children will learn so much from you during this challenge. Has hard as it is I believe each problem has a gift. Hakan and I will be praying each morning for you and the family. Heal quickly. Pat
I am so lucky that I never had to have this type of conversation past my eldest son last year when I had my parotid tumor removed. Watching my older son cry at the slightest possibility of not having mom around ripped me apart. Watching my husband worry/cry killed me. I can handle a great deal ‘on my own’ but watching everyone else around you handle the news is beyond heartbreaking. I’ve learned that there is never any real certainty in life. You get through each day (hopefully at mach 10!!) and hope to see another day. Your children will be able to draw an incredible amount of strength from you and Lynese. You both are phenomenal parents. I’ve no doubt that the family has an outstanding support system. You’ve always been a positive & driven person Mike. I know you’ll get through this. I understand all too well what you mean about past worries/memories with your family. Don’t let that occupy the space in your heart & your head. Spend less time looking back over your shoulder and more time looking forward. You have our thoughts & well wishes. You *will* pull through this ~